Courtney is killed
by FourHeadedTentacleMonster
Summary: Courtney is killed, and no one knows who, being that everyone had a motive to kill her, this will be a long investigation, this is now offically stated as a parody.
1. Detective Riley

A little something I whipped up one day, this is my first fanfic, and I haven't seen the series in a while, so don't be surprised if it's awful.

I do not own anything, or there would be a lot more dirty themes, trust me.

All regards, Violet122

Summary: self-explanatory

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><p>On the night of April fourteenth, Courtney Gale, a young CIT agent and contestant from the reality show Total Drama, was found in the back of a dive bar at 11 PM, in her hometown of Ontario, having multiple skull fractures and shot to the head, stripped, and found in the dumpster, dead.<p>

Local drunk, Fred found her when he woke up one night from a hangover, he called 911, but he was too late, Courtney was dead long before hand.

Courtney's mom: she was missing for a few days, I knew something was up, I called the cops, but they gave up searching.

Courtney went out when she received a call from her old boyfriend, Duncan Calver, who claims he had nothing to do with her.

Duncan: I wanted nothing to do with her, or her death.

Although he is still a large suspect in the case of Courtney's untimely death, every from the casting of total drama had some sort of motive to kill her.

We first start out with the biggest suspects, those who have the biggest motive to kill Courtney.


	2. Gwen, Duncan, and Jade?

Hey guys, thanks for the reviews, I didn't expect reviews this quickly.

So yeah, I actually threw in another character, so yeah, she is an intern that somehow didn't die.

Yes, you guys have good guesses, but don't be hasty, me don't likey

Alright, here's the next chapter

I do not own anything

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><p>We start out with the two biggest suspects, Duncan Calver and Gwen Dawson, who had the bigger motives to kill Courtney.<p>

We start out with the bigger suspect of the 2, Gwen, who really wanted Courtney out of the picture so her and Duncan don't have to live in fear of the quote, crazy, hormonal bitch.

Gwen: Well, we were friends, but when Duncan came back, I really wanted to kill the bitch, I was encouraged by this girl who hides in the cargo hold, Jade, she never appeared on the show, but she hated Courtney to, and didn't want to be an outlaw in another country. I felt bad for her.

Jade is someone who will appear later in the investigation, but for now we stay on the task on hand.

So, this girl, Jade.

Gwen: Yeah

Do you like her?

Gwen: She was my friend, she gave me advice for things you wouldn't understand (Chuckles)

How old is she exactly?

Gwen: She said she was 1300 years old, but she's 13 really

Where were you at the time of Courtney's death?

Gwen: I was hanging out with Jade at her drug den when Duncan was thrown in juvenile hall, again! (Crosses arms) dumbass.

What exactly did he do to get in juvenile hall?

Gwen: (Eyes widen) Uh, when he called me, he didn't say, which is weird, he always tells me why he ends up in jail.

A crucial piece of evidence for Courtney's death, this could've been the break we've been looking for.

Gwen, when exactly did Duncan get thrown into Juvenile hall?

A day after Courtney was murdered.

I decided to go see Duncan in Juvenile hall.

Duncan, how did you react to Courtney's death?

Duncan: (scoffs) I really couldn't care less, that bitch nearly killed my girlfriend!

A perfect motive to kill Courtney

Duncan: what?

Nothing, Duncan, how is your relationship with the girl known as Jade.

Duncan: She's right here. (Points at 13 year old girl with long black hair and black dress)

Jade: Hey Duncan, who the fuck is this old piece of crap?

Duncan: He's asking me if I killed Courtney

Jade: Oh yeah, that bitch died.

Jade, Duncan, how did you and up in jail

Jade: We were caught with drugs.

But Gwen said you were with her.

Jade: The cops fucking arrested me shortly after she left, and if were already in Juvie, why are we suspects? We were charged with illegal position of drugs, not murder, besides; this ass bag was arrested before Courtney was murdered

But Gwen said he was arrested after

Jade; Oh it's always Gwen, Gwen, Gwen, well that bitch needs to get her facts right.

Duncan: Hey that's my girlfriend you're talking about!

Jade: Well she can be stupid as fuck!

Duncan: That's it!

(Jade and Duncan start fighting)

I know Jade was hiding something, and so was Duncan.

I'll have to interview Jade at some point, but first I'll interview the one who is not getting raped in prison


	3. Chris

Well, still continuing with this goddamn motherfucking stupid piece o' shit

I will like to say to the person who dislikes my fanfic, '2 kings, please fuck yourself', it's more of a parody

So yeah, I do not own the TTS

On with the stupid story

Best regards, Violet122

Also, my brother hacked into my account and changed some things, so yeah, I managed to edit it

Another thing, thanks to the guy who cave me some cunsturtive critazism, I will write abit differently

Detective: Being that both Duncan and Jade are in jail, I have decided to interview Chris Mclain, Chris, how is your feelings on Courtneys death


	4. Chapter 3 con

3rd chapter con.

Sorry, somthing went wrong and only caused me to enter not even haf the story

Do not own TDS

Violet122

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><p>Detective Riley: Chris, how are your feelings about Courtney's death.<p>

Chris: (Scoffs) About damn time, my show was in danger because of her, everytime somthing went wrong; she would sue me for it. Uh, hello? Ratings? Violence is what makes the show.

Detective Riley: Yes, I suppose, but how was your relationship with Courtney?

Chris: Have you seen the show?

DR: A show about putting teens in danger isn't my taste

Chris: Well, in every episode, she would threaten to sue me if she didn't get what she wanted. Like that stupid PDA or whatever, and would constantly ruin the show by coming on it whenever she can.

DR: On the character popularity scale, what was she?

Chris: She was one of the most disliked characters on the show, if one of those kids didn't kill her, it as probably some pissed of fan.

DR: Who do you think killed her?

Chris: Duncan, Gwen, possibly Jade, maybe even Heather. Who knows, maybe someone else that I forgot about because they weren't in the show for 2 seasons.

DR: But you do realies your a suspect as well.

Chris: Wha?

DR: I seen some of the episodes Courtney was in, and some of the episodes were more intense for Courtney, aiming to harm her.

Chris: Whoa, if she gets hurt on the show, I get sued, accedent or not.

DR: Listen Chris, I'll get back to you, but there are other suspects.

_Chris is still a major suspect, but I have others, we'll get back to him_

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><p><em>Sorry for all the spelling mistakes<em>


	5. Jade returns, and AleNoah?

If you read the 2 ch, you should know about my OC, Jade

I do not own TD

this is getting old

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><p>DR: Chris is still a suspect, thanks to one of the letters I have reseived, I just got word that Jade got out of jail, sooner that I suspected, but that isn't the point. have asked her to meet me at a local coffee shop. So, Jade, whats your thoughts.<p>

Jade: The fuck? Oh, yeah, that bitch Courtney, well, to put it bluntly; I don't give a shit, it wasn't me secondy.

DR: I'm not saying it was you.

Jade: Then why the fuck am I here?

DR: I just want to ask afew things, first, why are you weaing that drench coat?

Jade: (Scratches the back of her head while chuckling nervously) No reason.

DR:Anyway, who do you think kill Courtney.

Jade: Shit, you're asking a pot head that? Dude, it's either Chris, Gwen, Alejandro.

DR: Why do you say Alejandro?

Jade: (Pause than makes and I don't know gesture) m'only guessing, but actually, I have afew pictures that might shed some light.

DR: May I see them?

Jade: (Takes pictures from her coat and hands them over to DR) Apparently, Courtney was a notorious whore on the show, she slept with Chris to try to get ahead in the show. But that failed, obviously, but then it actually came to the two falling in love, and Chris purposly kicked her off to keep any sort of suspition out of the way, since Courtney is one of the most hated characters.

DR: Intresting, these arn't photoshopped,right?

Jade: I can't photoshop if my life depended on it.

DR: Are they still together?

Jade: I stopped paying attention after I caught them fucking in the hot tub, not a pretty sight.

DR: Yeah, I guess that isn't good fr kids your age

Jade: Old motherfucker, I whach guys rip at each others asses for a passtime. Also, (Whispering) I have another thing to show you.

DR: What?

Jade: (Pulls out a pic of Noah and Alejandro doing you know what *wink*)

DR: (Gags)

Jade: (Laughs like Mion from Higurashi) Yeah, Noah and Alejandro are dating.

DR: Well, now I want to interveiw them for some reason.

Cops: Hey there she is!

Jade: Gotta run!


	6. Hahaha, yaoi alert, fuck off haters

If you don't like yaoi (Boy on Boy) then skip this damn chapter

I do not own TD

this is getting old

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><p>DR: When I thought this investigation couldn't get any more fucked up, I decided to interveiw Noah and Alejandro. Aejandro, you were with Heather for awhile?<p>

Alejandro: Yeah, but she was a cover up, and that whole incident where I was melted, that was, patially real. I did get burned serverly. When I woke up in the hospital, I found him (kisses Noah on the cheek) sitting next to me. I was only acting like I liked her to cover up my true sexuallity.

DR: That's nice, but thats not what I'm asking.

Alejandro: I told you, Heather was a cover up, I'm actually gay.

DR: Alright, but do you think Heather killed Courtney?

Alejandro: She did have pretty good motives to do so. But that chica in that case is all bark ad no bite.

Heather (while whaching the interveiw): Ah hell no! That fag did not just say that!

DR: If you had a motive to kill Courtney, what would it be?

Alejandro: I have none I already seduced her and got her kicked off, plus, I don't kill.

DR: What about you, Noah?

Noah: Beside her forcing me to compeat in that stupid dogde ball thing, nothing. Plus, you should know that I'm not the type to kill, those beasts in prison will fucking rape me.

Alejandro: You're mine anyway.

Jade (while whaching): Hahahahhaha!

Yaoi haters (while whaching): Gross!

DR: Who do you think had the bigger motive to kill Courtney?

Noah and Alejandro: Heather.

DR: This damn investigation is going nowhere, I guess Heather is next


	7. So far, but nothing

Disclaimer: -_-

This chapter will be in Dective Rileys POV

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><p>Before I interveiw Heather, I just want to go over what we have so far. From a second examination of Courtneys corpse, we found traces of semen on Courtneys coarps. Meaning that some sort of sexual assult was added along with the blows to the head. The reasults won't be back for afew weeks, so until the, I'll cover what I gathered from the interveiws.<p>

Jade, that weird ass stoner couldn't have done it. She was in prison at the time. She couldn't have.

Duncan, an idiot like that can't pull off a murder like that, although might have been a part. You see, Duncan was put in juvie for sexual assult, and according to his record, he was put in jail _after_ Courtney's death, meaning that he might have purposly got in jail with Jade to cover it up.

Chris, Jades pictures might actually be the break in this case we were looking for. He is still a suspect, no doubt about that, Courtney and Chris might have gotten in another stupid argument.

Noah and Alejandro, I'm stupid for asking.

Next, either Heather, Gwen, and Izzy

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><p>yes, I know, these chapters are stupid and rushed, but cut me some slack man<p> 


	8. The last straw for our beloved detective

All regards, TheThreePervertFangirls (AKA, Violet122)

Disclaimer: *Face palm*

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><p>DR: Damnit, (takes drink from bottle of rum) this is going nowhere, next his Heather, alright.<p>

Heather: To kick things of, why am I here?

DR: You're being interveiwed for Courtneys death.

Heather: I didn't do it

DR: But we havn't even gotten started with this.

Heather: it dosn't matter, I didn't do it!

DR: It dosn't matter, now, where-

Heather: This is stupid, I'm being interveiwed in a crumby police station for a crime I didn't do.

DR: Well, I just want to ask you a few things- oh this is hopless, I quit.

Jade: Dafuq

Cop 1: What?

DR: This is hopless, how many other kids had a motive?

Cop 2: (shrugs)

DR: This is hopless, I quit!

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><p>Oh no, Detective Riley quit. Sorry for the sucky chapter, Heather will be interveiwed if I figure this out<p> 


	9. Detective Jade

All regards, TheThreePervertFangirls (AKA, Violet122)

Disclaimer: *Face palm*

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><p>Jade: When the old fucker has had enough, rely on detective Jade!<p>

Heather: i thought you were some drug crazed criminal.

Jade: Shh! I need this so I can get goody goody with these cops.

Heather: Wow, sucking up, we do have somthing in common.

Jade: Shut up! (Bitch slaps Heather), Where were you on the day of that whores death?

Heather: I was blackmailing Alejandro and his faggoty ass boyfriend.

Jade: Oh, so your homphobic huh? That was never gonna help anyway. But I hate homophobics.

Heather: What? No! I just hate him.

Jade: Enough about Alenoah, my perverts nosebleed is schedualed at 6. Anyway, did you know about Courtney and Chris's relationship?

Heather: Those two where dating. Wow, she died a whore.

Jade: Stop playing dumb fucks with me you manipulative bitch!

Heather: I'm not, no one knows about that.

Jade: Good point! So, who do you think killed her? They will be on my to do list after I look at gay ass porn!

Heather: Izzy, she's the crazy one, or maybe even Beth, under that nerdy extirior must be some homicidal bitch.

Jade: yes, next on my to do list, izzy, the phyco(?)

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><p>Told you I would think of somthing, quicker than I thought, but who care, you don't<p> 


	10. Jade is A pervert

All regards, JustAnotherOtaku

Disclaimer: *Face palm*

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><p>Duncan: So, why are we all here?<p>

Jade: On Courtneys body there were traces of cum on her snach, so I rounded up all the suspects that are men.

Alejandro: Uh, why am I and Noah here, we stated before we were gay.

Jade: You two make out for me. The others will give me samples.

Chris: You mean?

Jade: Oh yeah! I want you all to wack off in that room. (Points at room) So lets see, we have, Chris, Duncan and for some reason Cody.

Cody: Why me?

Jade: You had motives to! (Bitch slaps Cody) You had motives in the third season to kill her for voting off Gwen! So I dub you not being a suspect bullfuck.

Seara: (While whaching) Keep your hands off Cody!

Chris: Uh, I thought we had this covered.

Jade: Fuck no! Once we found of Cortney was fucking raped, we suspected you because you and Courtney were fucking.

Everyone: Nasty!

Chris: (Blushes), why do i have to? I had a-

Jade: Don't finish, please, ok, I'm starting to think this is a bad idea!

Duncan: Oh really?

Jade: Yeah, so I all want you to rip out some of your hair, simpler yes?

Cody: I suppose.

Alejandro: Can we stop making out?

Jade: (While drying nose blood) No...

Cody: Wern't you gonna interveiw Gwen?

Jade: Yeah, but let me ask Chris somthing. Chris, your fixed?

Chris: None of your buisness.

Jade: You admited it, so you must look up when you lost your manhood.

Chris: (Sweatdrop) What the fuck? What is your problem, why did i hire you?

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><p>Yes, Jade has screwed up methods, next to writting about Spike getting raped by Vicious this is one of the most disturbing things I have ever written<p> 


	11. Is this the end?

Ok, I've decided to set up a pole on my account, wheather I should just wrap this shit up or keep going  
>I'm thinking that most of you will say 'end it' mainly because of my last update<br>Enjoy, I guess  
>Signed, TheInsaneOtakugirl<p>

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><p>Jade: This is getting nowhere, the DNA shit won't be back in a few weeks, although, the Chris' mediacal records state that he was fixed after Courtneys' death, so that might be to cover up the fact he did rape the bitch, what do you think?<p>

DR: It's sad that you're making more progress than I ever did.

Jade: A sign that you should find a new job, anyway, I decided to bring Gwen in again.

Gwen: i thought you said I was over with.

Jade: This old motherfucker did.

DR: Can you stop calling me that?

Jade: No, anyway, if you had the chance, would you kill Courtney, if you could get away with it.

Gwen: Yeah, I would, pay back for trying to kill me.

Jade: Ah ha, but you didn't get away with it! She did it!

Gwen: What not, you bitch, stop setting me up!

Jade: Hahaha, I'm just fucking with ya, so anyway, knowing that your boyfriend was in jail at the time, and wait, a guy did it, why are you here, get out!

(Gwen leaves)

Jade: Fuck this shit, I want to end this.

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><p>Even my phycopath OC agrees I should end this, maybe I should stick with PWP<p> 


	12. The stupid ending to a dumb mystery

Ok, I've decided to set up a pole on my account, wheather I should just wrap this shit up or keep going  
>I'm thinking that most of you will say 'end it' mainly because of my last update<br>Enjoy, I guess  
>Signed, TheInsaneOtakugirl<p>

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><p>Jade: Wait!<p>

DR and Everyone who's whaching: What?

Jade: I got one more suspect.

DR: Who?

Jade: Eva!

DR: But you said it had to be a guy?

Jade: Don't care

...

Jade: Alright Eva, this won't take long.

Eva: i hope so, because the longer this takes the worse.

Jade: Alright, wear we're you on the night of Courtneys' death?

Eva: At a dive bar, drinking away my failure thanks to all the assholes who voted me off.

Jade: And you do realise that Courtney was the one who voted you off, right?

Eva: How can i forget that stuck up, whiny bitch? Her goody goody attitude always made me want to kill her, I hated her the most!

Jade: yes, what was the name of the dive you were at.

Eva: Drunken Freds', why.

Jade: Intresting, did you know that was the dive Courtney was killed at?

EvaL Wha?

Jade: A few day before Courtneys' death, Chris got into an argument with said bitch at 5:45 three days before her death. Who at the same time a man under the identity Chris toolk sperm from the same bank Chris stored his! it couldn't have been Chris, because he wasn't even gonna, and quote 'Bother looking for her, under any circumstances' so three days later when Courtney was killed, you snuck up behind her, beaten her with your fists or whatever, shot her and spilled the cum on her, taking if her cloths so no evedince will be found.

Eve:... Wow, you got most of that correct for a pot head, you got me, only the cum was actually frosting, you think I'd actually know whether Chris Mcfucker was fixed?

Jade:... Whether that makes more or less sence, I don't care, take this phyco path away. (Whispers) I'll bail ya out, you are my favorite character after all.

Eve: Damn, I thought no one gave a fuck about me... alright.

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><p>Well, sorry for the lamn excuse for an ending, yes, Eva did it, I figured everyone forgot about her, I thought she would do it bacause, she tried to kill Courtney once or twice in the show.<p>

Anyway, see ya, tell me if I fucked up


End file.
